My life has been a roller coaster for some one my age. You could say that I have lost the the people who make the biggest impact in life, not just mine but everyone they cross paths with.
February 3rd 1991-My mother Donna passed had to leave us when I was only 7 years old my little brother was 2 never even had the chance to know her. When he was 9 years old he asked me "why did mommy love you more then me?" I had to explain to a 9 year old that it had nothing to do with him and that he was in every way our mothers miracle. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor before she even conceived my brother and the doctors forbid her to get pregnant because she was in radiation treatment and a child would either not make it or have sever health problems. But with gods will she got pregnant with my brother Brandon and he is the MOST amazing person that I know. Despite what her body was going thru he came out perfect and does my mother and I proud everyday. I see her determination when I look at him and when people talk of what a wonderful person she was, I see it in him.
June 3rd 2002 my family's life's changed forever in so many ways. My cousin Justin Sullivan lost his life in a car accident in Oklahoma City he was only 18 years old. He saved the life of his best friend and girl friend and the world has never seen a more giving person. He was very in touch with God and shared it with as many people has he could. Justin was a wonderful son, brother, cousin, nephew and friend someone that people wished that they could have the pleasure of meeting. I am proud to call him family but I know he is where he was meant to be. Justin played baseball and was one of the ones that could have gone as far as he wanted, he was great in all he did. I did not go to his funeral because I had a very hard time coping with death and refused to say goodbye to the ones I loved. Recently I went to Oklahoma for the first time and spent time with my family I met amazing people and I learned why people loved him so. Please if you have time see his story. http://www.alifeworthfollowing.org/
February 3rd 2006- Christopher W. Pullen was taken from this world to be in a better place. I only knew him for a short time but he made the biggest impact on my life of anyone I have ever been friends with. I realize now that because of the strange way we met and became friends was meant for a reason. I have not fully figured that out yet but I know when the time is right I will. I only hope that I grow to understand why he also was taken from this world at such a young age. Christopher was my best friend, the one who I could call and no matter how far, what time, or what circumstance he would be there and he knew it was a shared feeling. He had a way of lighting up any room that he walked into and putting a smile on the face of even people who were really down and out. From the time we met the two of us were together and did almost everything together. I was with him the night he passed and in the beginning I asked God "why would you put me there, thru that after all I have lost already?" Now I am glad I was there with him and I wouldn't want it any other way, only that if it had been the other way around I pray he would have been there to. Losing him hit me hard, I hated life I didn't want it anymore, I told myself it was my fault and I should have done more to stop it. Then I woke up and realized that if he were here and it happened to someone else he would never tolerate me acting that way. Chris brought out this person in me that no one ever has and I liked her I try everyday to hang on and not let go of that person in fear that I will let go of him and forget. His mother is my inspiration in so many ways a lot of people could learn so much from her. Even though her entire world is gone she still has the power to get out of bed and face the world everyday. I only hope that I grow to have as much drive as she does today.
They say that time heals all wounds, I however can tell you for me "time" will never heal what I have pulled thru. It is the love of family and friends and the love that you have for the ones that we have to say goodbye to that get us thru. It will never be the same without any of them and I know there are so many more to come in life. I try to think that I will be more prepared for the next one and the next one. But the truth is, is that each person makes a different impact on our lives and therefor the hurt is different every time. As tragic as it all was I also took a lot of positive things from it but that is for another day.....
